Religion and shit…

Taoism – Shit happens.
Buddhism – If shit happens, it’s not really shit.
Islam – If shit happens, it’s the will of Allah.
Protestantism – Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.
Judaism – Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism – This shit happened before.
Catholicism – Shit happens because you’re bad.
Hare Krishna – Shit happens rama rama.
TV Evangelism – Send more shit.
Atheism – No shit.
Jehova’s Witnesses – Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism – There’s nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science – Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism – Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn’t.
Rastafarianism – Let’s smoke this shit.
Existentialism – What is shit anyway?
Stoicism – This shit doesn’t bother me.